Less words more actions! - thoughts + feelings!!!

It's been quite a while since the last time I wrote here.  Compared to last year,  I guess whoever has read and followed me ever since then, might have thought I abandoned once and for all this blog.  
Certainly, that hasn't been my intention at all.   It is simply that this year has developed and evolved in a very different way to that of 2013.

How true is it that there's no real me! The real being does not exist.   There's that same essence, yet it transforms, mutates constantly  through both the internal as also external phenomenons.  Now I look back to many months ago and I see myself having a real and constant brainstorm.   Theories,  debates in my mind, rationality behaving in the most irrational way, all leading me towards an inner nigredo, and the eventual fall of so many structures.    In many opportunities it wasn't nice. It did felt as the Dark Knight of the Soul.    Suddenly, a dawn in my life appeared and for this I am to be eternally thankful to Dharma,  the Buddha teachings as also whoever I have encountered in this journey called life. 

Storms do not disappear in life,  simply you learn to see them in a different way.    I guess that when you know how certain is uncertainty to come back in life, you begin to enjoy more every single ray of sun coming from the horizon,  every kitten's game, every meal made by mum,  every moment of beauty in life.    If darkness didn't exist,  most probably it wouldn't be possible to see how beautiful the day is.  
This year I have written less simply because most of my discoveries have been in practice, and every single thing I seem to discover, leads me to a bigger pool of uncertainty.   In conclusion,  there's no point in writing to say that  the more I seem to know, the less secure I feel about actually knowing something ;)) 

I wish I could be a perfect being,  untouched from all dense passions and defects from the human nature, and it is because of this, that whenever I feel, whenever I identify something negative inside me,  it can feel unbearable.     Yet,   as unbearable as it might be,  it is necessary to embrace my human nature, embrace my gene pool.  Because for all the negative I might have got, I too got many positives.   There's nothing left but to love myself, and to have the will and consciousness to transform the negative patterns I have.

It is funny when I look, and see that moral guilt is perhaps one characteristic difficult to dissipate. Where did such guilt come from?   I used to be quite a skeptical and agnostic being  (such was my illusion of what I think I was)  but seems those elements have vanished.  And of course, Doubt that can come when you less expect her.   Compared to last year,  these have evolved positively quite a lot since then.    They are not be enemies,  moral guilt can be at one point an useful tool,  as it can be to doubt something.  Of course keeping in mind, that doubting is heavily overrated in the West.  And that is necessary to keep Faith in something or someone... (just my opinion)

It is precisely because of the "Furnace of Doubt"  that I come to write a little bit.       Doubt didn't reach such point in most of the year, yet through some actions that I know now are unwise,  I caused myself an inner eruption of distress. Who would have known?     Suddenly doubt appeared in a way I had not seen her in more than a year!      Along the doubt, appears the distress of not knowing where you're reading, of actually identifying you know nothing about life,  just that everything is supposition.  I challenge anyone that tell me certainly, any fact about existence!    Because there's none, there's no certainty.   And this most of the times I can accept peaceful and happily,  yet through a spike of anxiety,  a shadow of negativity,  a thirst for control of the cosmos appears threatening to destroy you.     Solution? let yourself go, breath deeply, and let yourself be dragged by the black hole a la Interstellar.

Healthcare is to be continuous.  It is an every day sample of living, of practicing some values and a faith.  The idea that you're healthy and therefore you can abuse your health because you're healthy, is wrong.    It might take a while for the body and the mind to manifest consciously,  yet whatever action we do in this moment even if we have the physical conditions of an Olympic winner, will bring casualties in a while.   It takes sometime for the wind to come, but it will come.
There's nothing left but to cultivate every day!

Before closing this chapter and going to sleep.  I must state two things.

1) I'll procure to come more frequently, even though the older I grow, the more silence that comes. 

2) 10 minutes of breathing two nights ago, 20 minutes of doing so today, and the shadow of doubt has dissipated.   No logical sword destroyed it.  The calmness of the fresh waters embraced it and forged a bell with it!

You can't keep a good man down

You can't keep a good man down,
No, You can't keep a good man down,
You can't keep a good man down ,
No, You can't keep a good man down,

Oh come into my parlor,
said the spider to the fly,
without this here parlor,
you can never get by
but I said I don't trust no shadow,
Trust no shadows of a doubt,
your parlor is looking nice,
but I'm not one you can tie,

Oh, I know You can't keep a good man down,
No, You can't keep a good man down,
You can't keep a good man down ,
No, You can't keep a good man down,

Well your facing the good,
The good they die young
Well I'm here to tell you,
That you are wrong,

You see love is my foundation,

Truth my redeemer,
strong is my manner,
so you see I'm one exception

Oh, I know You can't keep a good man down,
No, You can't keep a good man down,
You can't keep a good man down ,
No, You can't keep a good man down,

Well ya pick 'em up and kick 'em down
can't keep a good man down
Well ya pick 'em up and kick 'em down

 can't keep a, can't keep him down

Nationalism: Another pillar of the consciousness that falls

Nationalism: A beautiful and romantic concept. Ah!  those composers and writers that sprout during the late XVIII century and most of the XIXth one.  All but culminating in two world wars.   
Nationalism; Supposedly a shared identify, mutual heritage in which people carry the glory of the nations on their shoulders.    How many times had we heard about common trends in a nation, a way of being and of acting, or even some noble virtues like freedom and compassion.   All said to be inherited in this supposed thing called nation.
And sure,  there's also the fun of all sports.  What would be the point in most competitions if it wasn't for being able to root for your motherland, or simply for your favorite among a big group?  what would be of all this?

Yet I have come to the personal conclusion that nationalism is nothing but an unnecessary chain.  Why carry it?   why bring with you such burden?  There are many "nations" that I like appareantly.  There's Russia with all of its passion, and Japan with all of its discipline,  China with its tradition, and France with her joy.   Yet, do I really like such thing as a nation?  do I really like any of these nations?   No, maybe not.  Maybe what I have liked and still like is individuals.  Yes, individuals that simply have been born in such lands and created such things.     Yes,  either they have been born and fed there for a reason, and maybe not but that doesn't mean to feel obliged to like such thing as nation.

It is my most spontaneous opinion that nationalism doesn't lead anywhere, but to a place of discrimination, of not being able to see reality as it is, but simply as how you want it to be.  Nationalism is as real as the tooth fairy.    You are there for when the nation needs you, but when is the nation when you need it?   And sure, nation and goverment are not one and the same.  But let's not speak about govermment, let's not waste time speaking about something which does not belong to the ground I want to mention.

We are now in the XXI century,  time of globalization.  Both with its good and its bad.   Yet in some countries,  in most of them this thing nationality still exists.   I humbly ask why?   what's the purpose for such thing?   to go to wars? defend a territory in name of the motherland, even if it costs your own life?   what for?

Life is an individual experience.   During our lives we meet so many people, but we don't stay attach to them,  nor we become part of their lives or they of ours. Unless we're speaking about family,  or really good friends.   But those aren't usually many during one's own live. 
If the circle of trust in one's life is already small, why try to make a whole "nation"   fit into it?

Not to mention,  that my concept and even my pride of nationality can be completely antagonic to the one of a fellow countryman.     So isn't this a whole charade?  how can we both defend supposedly the nation,  its values.  When those values themselves, can be completely different to me from those he sees?

Nations don't give artists.  They don't give scientists.  They don't give people, just numbers.      In those lands alienated by names given by human many bright minds have been born.  But they're the result of the closest family..  of the parents,  even of siblings. But of a whole thing?      No... they're not.

If lands were nations, and nations were trees how could we distinguish a good tree from a bad one,  if  all trees give both nice and rotten fruits?  it's impossible!  the concept of nation is flawed!

It's simply better,  and also much easier keeping oneself to the individual identity.   Without being pulled or dragged by an external body of which one has no control.  Even worse, judging oneself according to the values set long ago in the land where one was coincidentally born.

I simply think that in the moment we stop caring and seeing individual per individual, and enter into the frenzy roulette of nationalism we lose our head.    We submit by our own will to be blind.  Is this really positive? if so, in what kind of wicked sense?


Yes, nationalism is a beautiful concept. Just as beautiful as imagining fantastic creatures living vividly in the depths of the lunar forest.  That does not mean it exists.  Just like the moon, it deceives.  For all the myths, for all the Tristan et Isolde,  for all the Ruslan and Lyudmila, Popol Vuh..  for all Bochica, Libuse, Merlin and Amaterasu... for all of them there have been and will probably be wars and stupid sacrifices. 

"The mortal  dies for his motherland, for his nation.  Yet once dead,  it's nothing but a corpse resting and rotting on the ground"   

I ask, where's the nation?   


Live by individualism, care for your brother as it was yourself.   Do not alienate yourself from the ocean of people, yet don't become just another fish in the pond. 

Bodhisattvayana and Democracy in the modern world

"If I spent less time looking for my own ecstasy, perhaps I could care for others a bit more. Just a tiny bit more would be all right"

I have been thinking for some days about how we're obliged to participate and care for the rest of humanity.  Real democracy in the Greek sense does not exist, for this global society only works through the impulses of one's own desire.    Consumerism and democracy are not compatible for they stand in completely different pillars.    If I'm only searching for my own ecstasy as it happens most of the times, then how can I care for others?      A notion has to fade away and replaced by a new paradigm of caring for others.     It is not enough going or twice a year and voting for a candidate,  that's not enough to guarantee a global benefit.      But then what is it?
Society is shifting, appareantly, at least on it's shallow layer it's changing for good, so we have been told.  People caring about the situations happening in other countries and "support them"  Yet is it real support liking and sharing a video?  commenting for a minute about how unfair such situation is in X country?     Teens and people in their 20's are mostly and easily manipulated to fall into campaigns.  It's not their fault though, as propaganda has existed for long. Ready to move people even to their deepest level.      What we're witnessing nowadays is a whole new scale of propaganda. Where millions of people around the planet, watch a video and can even decide the fate of certain State. 

How to distinguish between a real move, a real protest,  and a scam?     I believe it cannot be done.   There's interests in all sides of the struggle, everyone trying to gain a benefit for themselves.  Only thing left to do is to feel empathy and compassion, evade any kind of judgment and just wish for the end of conflict. 

Until what point has humanity lost touch with reality?    Just enough watching and reading videos such as the viral one of Ukraine, or reading the news about the latter Venezuela.  Both sides of the conflict wish death upon the other. Both bring their arguments.      For example, who is there to deny that the EU has its interests?       just as who is there to deny Putin's one?   in the middle of everything there's the people.  Some with a bit more of Austrohungarian feeling pro EU integration, while others more into the Russian side.  And what about those that are simply nationalistic?   WHAT CAN IT BE DONE?       At first, a movement, a legitimate movement to change a putrid and corrupt State shiftes into a struggle of interests.  West vs East.     What about Venezuela?   a country where a minority of people, an ultra shallow minority of people kept the resources for entire decades.    That cannot be denied either.  For if there had not been such inequality, such poverty on one side, and on the other an incredible wealth,   Chavez would not have risen.   The anger and grudge in the class struggle would not have emerged, but it did.        It was legitimate the need for bringing equal opportunities,  a change in favor of the country per se.      However, that has not happened with the so called socialism of the XXI century.   Misery has only been shared, more hatred has been created, where is all the oil and wealth?   Corruption and putrefaction is all that lies there.       YET...  who is to say that the opposition isn't corrupt also? corrupt in another, more capitalistic way?     As days pass, I believe everyone involved in the world of politics is corrupt.      For all the wealth and liberty supposedly enjoyed in the anglosphere there's also massive alienation.      For all the pride in the opposition there's oppression being inflicted.      Where's the real liberty?

DEATH TO THE NATION OF POLITICS,    AVERSION OF THE STATE!!!

BUT... IF I SUSCRIBE TO A NOTION OF ANARCHY,  AREN'T I LOSING MY LIBERTY ANYWAY? COMPROMISING MYSELF TO A NOTION, I'M DEPOSITING MY FAITH IN IT. THEREFORE I HAVE LOST MY FREEDOM OF THOUGHT, THE BLINDNESS STARTS.

I EXIST BECAUSE I DON'T JUDGE...
I'M GUIDED BY MY HEART, THEREFORE I AM FREE.

Genuinely I believe that in the moment we recurr to something learned from the outside, instead from the inner feelings, what dictates the heart, we lose freedom.  But then again, this is also tricky as how can we listen to our heart? we certainly need guides in order to learn, or better to say, relearn how to know what we feel, and how to act.     It's a concept for me impossible to explain, can only be perceived I guess.


Anyway... back to the other topic. How can any politician or movement hold any credibility?   It's quite difficult to actually believe society as a whole is going somewhere right.     Feelings arise of disappointment with the whole body of composed nations.      Sometimes I believe the best that can be done is to escape, to drift apart from that whole.   Tired of watching and listening discussions, social conflicts, better to move somewhere apart from that.  Where the sky is of emerald colour, and the sea is like lapislazuli.  Doesn't it sound much better than kept being stuck in the eye of the hurricane?    
Numerous monks and hermits in both eastern and western traditions have secluded from society because of reasons like this.   Such detachment and independency from the outter world indeed helped them achieve a better sense of things.    Christian monks living in mountains,   Theravada monks in temples of Thailand still practice such path of discipline.   Aware of the conflicts in samsara, yet detaching themselves from most of them.

Is this however the noblest of paths?

Some days ago I read a wonderful speech by the Dalai Lama.  In it, he explained how Tibet lived secluded from the outter world for many centuries. Keeping their kingdom in the mountains, unaware of what was happening far from there and continuing with their own way of life.  However, the British finally arrived. And after them the Nazis, and finally they were conquered by Mao's men.   He said, he stated, that in this new era is not possible to live secluded, apart from that big all.  We all must care about each other, help each other.  That's the best life.    The easier way of preventing one self from the suffering of permanent contact and dependence with others is not to be avoided.

For the cosmos impulses us, drive us together.  We're trapped in an immense wave of a drastic ocean.  In which we have to hold hands together.

This is simply a beautiful reduction,  going straight to the point of the Mahayana tradition, of the Bodhisattva way.   In which the supposed enlightenment is not achieved through seclusion, but sacrificed in order for the need of others.  For love of others we sacrifice every single interest, even if it's the noblest of spiritual paths (no matter the tradition)  for in the end, that's only but a personal interest as well.

Going back to Western terms this could be translated not as an obligaton (for it's one's own will)  but as a decission to participate.  To be part of the continuos change.


How to be a part of such change anyway?   Marx said any social struggle is a political struggle. Should we agree with this way of thinking?   If so how social is to help others, consoling them and practicing a non-ending empathy and avoiding judging others?   Isn't this what modern politics is?

I dare and repeat again.  We're due to care for others, to feel empathy and help.   But the only possible way is through empathy, compassion and not judging.  All these modern ways of "liking and sharing a video or link"  or giving your own opinion about a conflict is worthless.  For how can you know the truth?  if you see someone in need help him/her.  Do not hesitate based on prejudices or paradigms.     That's the only way I guess.  Yet I have no idea.

The Christmas that never was

Contrary to what the title might suggest, my Christmas a very happy one.  Where the original senses of joy and love spread in every single of my days.   A time to spend with my small, but mighty family.  

The not so good subject I have been noticing in the recent years is how Christmas has began losing its magic little by little, till the point where it has no magic left whatsoever.   People build their trees since early Novemember, and they already want to finish them even before the year has finished.
The music, food, everything in the atmosphere imititates so much that of Christmas since October, that there's nothing unique of the festivities. 

People pray and commit to detachment, to the cause of being humble for nine days during December.  Yet the year has not finished, when they are already wishing and craving for every little small thing.   What's Christmas-like about that?    
Also, it is sad to see Christmas fading abruptly and prematurely since the early days of January.   It's like if people were only able to escape the routine for some weeks of December, and then as if it was a strong compulsion, they are obliged to return to a grey and predictable life style.

In its original and pure sense, Christmas should last all year long.  In the sense of receiving from life gifts, thanking for them, and also giving to others.   If there's something Jesus taught us, is the sense of divine freedom, of breaking the chains imposed by others but worse of all, imposed by ourselves.
More Christmas eves will come and go, but if people continue only finding in those a temporal relief, only a escape, then everything is lost.  

When our hearts are filled with a sense of having practiced and done correctly.  When we're fully devoted to living the experience instead of following a trend,  then the holidays recover their original sense.  That which it used to have in the full innocence of our youth.
In my opinion, you'll notice things have gone great while building the tree;   If you're immersed in the experience, every single branch you put,  the lights you give to the tree, all those actions become a game.   Every Christmas once again will be what it used to be during your early years.
When the time for picking the Christmas decorations comes,  when you have done right, you'll be plunged in a feeling of thankfulness with life.    A feeling of renovation,  of having been washed for a new year will arise. 

Same goes for the New Year.  Unless one is plunged into the experience,   years will come and go and nothing will change for good.