In ignorance and anger,
Covered by the veil of compulsion,
The soul falls into repulsion
In darkness and silence,
The true nature rises,
Eyes wide open into the black,
To reality they come back.
Two weeks ago, during a lightness of being moment that could have been relaxing if I had taken it properly, but ended as one of those unbearable ones, I fell into the geekery of playing games online. One game is fun, the second is even more interesting, the third you OUGHT to win, the fourth in case you lose, becomes a suffering. Got to ask myself, why is it fun to play online? As stated above, once the person falls into the "cyber berserk" type of behaviour, he no longer plays for having fun, merely for winning, and upon losing, a sore loser takes upon him. Sad isn't it? Let's add to the fact that many games (like the one I was playing) offer awards for winning.. heck, even playing it costs some money (in my case, some paypal leftovers) so basically you keep playing, as long as the illusion of winning more persists, as long as you have some credit left. Not so different to a casino! A game disguised as intellectual, but with a rather big percentage of luck! It went all the way to absorb 7 days of this month! The mindfulness attained through smart choices of time, were being reversed by this, even anger appearing upon losing, was trying to manifest in reality. Having the mind flying somewhere far from here, I could have caused some kind of kitchen explosion by accidentally cooking something in a microwave with aluminum foil, luckily nothing got to happen. By then I had already noticed how this was affecting my concentration and calm, I wanted out of the game yet I had no success finding someone to exchange the "tix" I had left for some paypal credit once again, so I kept on playing some hours more.
As a nice synchronicity, something went wrong with the electric plant of my building causing not only this, but the entire street to go out of energy. It was an abrupt end to the game which produced me some anger initially as I had planned to enter a big tournament at 7 pm. First hour or so I was pissed off about this event, how we had been covered by darkness. Time went by, and with it the illusion that the electricity would be back within the same day, the desperation vanished and a sense of inner peace appeared. I could hear the neighbors being desperate talking to the janitor, mentioning how they would go out to cinema or some other plan since the service had not returned.
What would happen if one of those infamous solar flames cause a worldwide shortage of electricity? So many things in modern society depend upon this service. All commerce, most healthcare, preserving food. It's difficult to imagine nor desirable. Although when it is only for mere hours, half a day maximum, it can be a relieving an almost spiritual-like experience. Worth trying it once in a while! Turning off the lights and having as only light the solitary candle.
Perhaps the lights and sounds of society keep us blind, in a degrading motion trance, the real zombie apocalypse. In the neon lights we find the darkness of the mind, while in the darkness of nature we may find the light of the spirit.
Fortunately, the next day I found a buyer to take my remaining tix and go out of the game. All that was left was the feeling that many times we continue things not because we're enjoying them, but simply because habits and illusions can form in a matter of minutes.
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